Hester Grainger is an ADHD coach and neurodiversity keynote speaker. Ahead of two ADHD Unfiltered tour dates in Norfolk this Autumn, Hester shares the story of her late diagnosis
Who are you and what do you do?
I’m Hester, an ADHD coach and neurodiversity keynote speaker who was diagnosed with ADHD at 43. I am also co-founder of Perfectly Autistic which I launched with my husband Kelly after he was diagnosed as autistic and with ADHD in his forties.
At Perfectly Autistic we work with organisations to help them better understand and support neurodivergent people. This is through talks, training, coaching and we also offer workplace mediation. I also coach adults with ADHD, deliver keynote talks and spend a lot of time trying to remind people that having an ADHD brain isn’t something to fix – it’s something to understand.
How long have you been in Norfolk? What do you love about living in this part of the world?
We’ve lived in Norfolk for nearly two years after moving from Berkshire and it honestly feels like home. I’m actually from Suffolk originally (Sssh don’t tell anyone!) and have lived in Norwich twice before. I just keep coming back!
There’s something about Norfolk that immediately made us slow down a little. People are friendly (shout out to my postman Lee), there’s a real sense of community and I love being so near to the sea. Norwich really does have everything, so many amazing independent shops, restaurants and cafes which I love. Yet we have amazing views of fields from our house.
Professionally, it’s been brilliant too. We started our Norfolk Women with ADHD community here, which has grown to more than 2,000 members. I host monthly meet ups too and it’s been amazing to see so many women connecting, making friends and finally finding people who just ‘get them’.
If you could describe your ADHD journey in a paragraph or two, what would you say? When were you diagnosed?
I was diagnosed with ADHD at 43 and suddenly my whole life made sense. Although looking back I didn’t feel different although I knew I was a lot. A lot of talking, interrupting, finding it hard to sit still, struggling with schoolwork, you name it.
Growing up, ADHD wasn’t something people looked for in girls, especially girls who were chatty, bright and doing OK on the surface. I became very good at masking (although I had no idea I was) and my psychologist who diagnosed me with ADHD said I had to working five times as hard just to keep up.
Getting diagnosed didn’t magically solve everything, but it gave me something I’d never had before: understanding. Instead of constantly blaming myself, I started learning how my brain actually works. That changed everything. It’s why I’m so passionate about helping other people realise they’re not broken; they’ve often just spent years trying to live in a world that wasn’t designed for the way their brain works.
What has led to you doing shows?
I’ve spent years speaking at conferences and events, but I realised people wanted something more personal than a keynote talk. ADHD can be incredibly funny, frustrating, heartbreaking and joyful, sometimes all in the same day. I wanted to create a show where people could laugh, learn and probably leave thinking, “I thought it was just me”.
My first theatre tour about ADHD led me to visiting 27 theatres around the UK, and the response was honestly so overwhelming. People told me they’d never felt so seen. There were tears, laughter and people connected. It gives me goosebumps thinking about it. That’s why I wanted to create another show. So, I am going on tour with ADHD Unfiltered this Autumn and so excited to be at The Maddermarket in Norwich and also going to The Corn Hall in Diss.
What is your background and what do you do alongside?
Before all this, I spent over 20 years in television, radio, PR and communications. I presented daily on The Wright Stuff, from the Anglia TV studios in Norwich and also worked behind the scenes on programmes including Loose Women and Today with Des and Mel; and later ran communications for some brilliant organisations and ended up as a BBC Radio presenter.
Today, Kelly and I run Perfectly Autistic together. We deliver neurodiversity training and consultancy to organisations across the UK, helping workplaces become places where neurodivergent people can genuinely thrive rather than simply survive. Alongside that, I coach adults with ADHD and continue speaking across the country.
And what can you tell us about your new show, ADHD Unfiltered? Who is it aimed at?
ADHD Unfiltered is exactly what it sounds like: an honest, funny and very real look at life with ADHD. I am not very good at being really serious and I think that we should laugh when we can.
The show is for people with ADHD, whether they’ve been diagnosed recently or years ago or are just neuro-curious as I like to call it. It’s also for anyone who thinks they might have ADHD, their partners, parents, friends and colleagues who want to understand it better. You definitely don’t need an ADHD diagnosis to enjoy it.
I talk about everything from late diagnosis and masking to relationships, work, overwhelm and all those little moments that people with ADHD experience every day but rarely talk about.
What can people expect on the night and where can they find out more about the tour?
People can expect plenty of laughter, a few emotional moments and lots of “that’s me!” moments whilst nudging the person they came with! It’s not a lecture or a clinical talk. It’s storytelling, lived experience and practical insights, with plenty of audience interaction along the way.
The whole second half is also a huge Q&A where people can ask me anything. I love hearing people’s stories and answering the questions they never usually get to ask. People can find tour dates and more information on my website and across my social media channels.
What is next for you?
It’s a really exciting time. Alongside the theatre tour, I’m continuing to grow our work with Perfectly Autistic, speaking to organisations and helping more workplaces understand neurodiversity as well as doing more with schools and universities.
Closer to home, I’m passionate about continuing to build our ADHD community here in Norfolk. I know how lonely a late diagnosis can feel and if I can help one more person realise they’re not alone and they’re not failing, then I’ll keep doing what I do. We are just launching a group for men too, as so many groups are geared to women.
ADHD Unfiltered will be at The Corn Hall in Diss on Thursday 24th September, 2026 and at the Maddermarket Theatre in Norwich on Wednesday 14th October, 2026. Also, visit Perfectly Autistic.
Featured image of Hester Grainger by @hestersvibe
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