Tina Cleveland runs Gorleston Menopause Mayhem, a support group which is holding an event aimed at educating men next week. Here, Tina explains why it is important for men to understand
Who are you and what do you do?
My name is Tina Cleveland, I’m married to Ray and we have two children, Ryan, 24 and Holly, 17. I am a writer, editing two books at the moment, and I run a Writing Group as well as Gorleston Menopause Mayhem.
Are you Gorleston born and raised? What do you love about the area?
I was born in Ely, Cambridge, but was brought up in Lowestoft until I was 17 then moved with my parents and sister to Gorleston. I briefly moved to Oulton Broad when married, but we then moved back to Gorleston. I love the community spirit in Gorleston as people like to support each other, especially in the female health sector, along with the lovely beach where I like to walk our Westie, Bonnie.
What led to you starting up Gorleston Menopause Mayhem in the first place?
During lockdown, I was really struggling with menopause, and when we emerged from lockdown, I struggled to get back to normal living as my husband was vulnerable. I realised that if I was struggling, then so were others, so my husband encouraged me to start a group. I put my feelers out on Facebook, with over a hundred people expressing an interest. Morrisons contacted me asking if I would like to hold the meeting in their cafe. Unfortunately, no one turned up, but I was not discouraged and after changing the venue to Gorleston Library things improved. In March 2023 we became a constituted group, with five committee members, and moved to Gorleston Pavilion. It gave us the opportunity to have later meetings to accommodate people who work, whereas the library had to shut at 7pm.
Is mayhem the perfect word to describe the experience for you?
Absolutely. The menopause causes utter confusion, is uncontrollable and leaves your life feeling chaotic. Some people look on menopause with denial as they don’t want to admit they’ve reached that stage in their life, but as one lady said to me recently, once you go through the menopause you feel like you no longer have to mind your P’s and Q’s and can say what you feel and that can be quite liberating. My approach to the menopause was to embrace it and to find answers to the many symptoms that go with perimenopause and menopause. As you go through the menopause, you realise that you are not the person you used to be. Sometimes that’s not a bad thing and with age comes wisdom – you do feel different about life. In my case, the menopause has given me a new lease of life and along the way I have gained lots of friends as you realise that you’re not odd but that you are just like most other women. Our group has made many realise this and thankfully, with our no-holds-barred conversations, people can open up whereby they might find it impossible to talk to family about certain symptoms. We usually end up having a laugh which makes people feel more comfortable.
What is happening next month and why is it so important that men understand the menopause?
On Thursday 12th of February, we have organised an event for males and females to come along to Gorleston Pavilion between 7 and 9pm to learn more about menopause, but basically to educate men so they can better support the females in their lives, whether it be partners, work colleagues or family. Although it affects the female quite significantly, it has a knock-on effect with all the males in their lives. This can have huge consequences for marriages, with a high percentage of divorces during the perimenopause/menopause. Men struggle to understand why the female is behaving the way they are, with some taking it personally, resulting in divorces and separations as both are trying to struggle with mood swings, anxiety and in some cases depression. By the same rule, women find their partners hard to deal with when they are struggling with their own issues. With a better understanding of what a female is encountering the result could mean fewer divorces.
What can people expect on the night?
On the night we have two guest speakers, Dr Kate Ashdown-Nickel, who is a local GP specialising in menopause and who has a private practice at the James Paget Hospital, and Victoria Howell who is a Nurse Practitioner also specialising in menopause. We will also have Scott from Top Body Gym giving the male perspective of living with a partner who went into early menopause. We will also have organisations that are menopause related on hand to offer advice and there may just be a hot flush simulator for men to try to experience the symptoms of hot flushes.
How can people find out more about the group in general and get involved?
To find out more, people can check out our Facebook page which is under Gorleston Menopause Mayhem. We also have a website which is gorlestonmenopausemayhem.co.uk where they can find out information about meetings and events that are happening. They can also sign up to our newsletter on the website, where there is also a downloadable symptom checker that can be taken to their local GP.
What are your hopes and dreams for Gorleston Menopause Mayhem?
Oh crumbs, that’s a hard one as we have come so far over the last few years. I think my aspiration going forward would be for people to recognise us as a group who are there to help and to get as many people as possible coming to our meetings. We have had such positive feedback and people say they really enjoy coming each month. We tailor all our meetings to specific symptoms of the menopause, and we have specialised organisations who come as guest speakers each month. We are very proud of the organisations that we have to hand, to deliver professional advice to the point that we are completely booked up until October this year and quite frequently have organisations asking us if they can come and talk. We have on average 25 to 30 ladies at each meeting, which are free and at one meeting we were struggling to get everybody in the bar at Gorleston Pavilion, which is a lovely position to be in. Gorleston Pavilion has been so supportive to us, and we wouldn’t be in the position we are in now had it not been for the kindness and support they give. Mostly though, I would like to thank the countless ladies who show up each month and put their faith and trust in us to deliver an informative meeting. Without them I would be back to sitting waiting for ladies to turn up. Let’s face it, along with the menopause comes the dreaded anxiety, which makes it hard to venture out for things like our meetings. Maxine, one of our committee members, came up with the “Buddy Scheme” whereby ladies can message or phone prior to the meeting and one of the committee will meet them outside and find them someone to sit with, which has worked well.
Menopause: What Is All The Fuss About? – What Men Need To Know, takes place on Thursday February 12, 2026, from 7-9pm, at Gorleston Pavilion. Guest speakers include Registered Nurse Victoria Howell and Dr Catherine Ashdown-Nichol. FREE event. Visit Gorleston Menopause Mayhem and follow on Facebook.
Featured image of Tina Cleveland – supplied
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