For this month’s column, Integrative Counsellor Sam Grainger reflects on the year gone by and comes up with a few ideas for self-reflection before the New Year begins
It’s the end of another year! I am sure that each year whizzes by more quickly than previous years. Has this been a good year, a mixed year, or a terrible year? Do you take time to allow yourself a period of self-reflection and reset for the coming year? If we look back at what is going on in the world it can feel a little depressing. Let us place that to one side and focus on your own personal reflections. Looking back on the stories presented in Folk Features it is great to see there are many positive stories and reflections. What about yours?
What is self-reflection? Self-reflection is the “the activity of thinking about your own feelings and behaviour, and the reasons that may lie behind them” (Cambridge Dictionary).
The year end is a perfect time for this period of introspection. It feels like a catalyst to change and develop. There is the time to take a breath and re-energise before the New Year begins. Reflection is a powerful process, and it is a really effective way of noticing where we are right now: what’s been good, what’s been terrible, what would you keep and what would you change?
“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom” (Aristotle).
Understanding plays a key role in our self-development, helping us move towards a healthy sense of self. To do this effectively don’t look at “why” things could be different; look at “what”- what is a much more objective way of reviewing a situation.
If you are reflecting on your relationship, and thinking “Why am I still here?”, think about reframing and saying to yourself, “What is it about this relationship that is making me unhappy? Is there any way I can change this?” Or, if the relationship completely breaks down; think “What was my role in the breakdown?” If you started a new venture, what went well, what did not go so well and what will you change moving forward?
Self-reflection gives us a new perspective and if we don’t take time to reflect, we get stuck in the same patterns, making the same mistakes over and over again.
How are you feeling as the end of this year approaches? I feel I have had a mixed year. There have been great highs and new beginnings. There have also been periods of sadness and loss. In three words I would sum my year up as: lifechanging, challenging and invigorating. What three words would you use to describe your year?
Here are a few ideas for your own self-reflection. I am going to sit and do this myself before the beginning of next year. Hopefully, this will help me to focus on what is important. We all know this may change because we cannot have control over the unexpected and how this may change your direction. It is, however, a good start.
- What has made me proud this year?
- What has been my biggest challenge this year and how did I overcome this challenge?
- What am I proud of this year?
- What did not go well and what can I change?
- What have I learnt over the last year?
- If I could travel back to the beginning of the year, what advice would I give myself?
- What changes am I going to make in the coming year?
- What do I want to achieve in the coming year?
You do not have to undertake this task in one go – maybe ask yourself a couple of questions a day. This will help you to have a better relationship with yourself, improve your wellbeing and strengthen your personal relationships.
Happy reflection. Happy New Year.
Visit Sam Grainger Counselling.
Featured image – supplied
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